How my morning put me at a crossroads and how I made the correct choice

Be careful what you wish for…

So I wake up a little tired this morning and slowly get dressed and stagger down to the basement to get my morning cardio session in. I am not a big fan of cardio but I do try to get it in every single day. I wouldn’t say I ever “enjoy” cardio but some days it is a lot easier to “tolerate” than others. I pop in the Insanity DVD that I have been doing and get started. I am really struggling on this particular morning and think to myself “I wish I didn’t have to do this today”.

I just start warming up and getting my sweat on and Alexis comes downstairs. Now usually no one comes down to bother me while I am working out. It’s not like a hard rule against it or anything I think it is more that they really don’t want to see this sweaty old man killing himself.

Anyway, I could tell by her face that something was wrong, really wrong. I pause the DVD and ask, “What’s up?”. She says, “Can you come up here?”. I can tell she is about to cry. About one hundred things flood my mind at this point. Terrorists in the house? Roof fell in? Heck, a tornado could have ripped half the house away while I slept and I wouldn’t have noticed it this morning when I staggered to the basement.

I follow her upstairs as she starts to explain that she was leaving for school and crashed into our mailbox. I go outside and see that our once bright, shiny, nice mailbox is lying on the ground mangled and demolished.

My first thought was “WTH! I can’t believe this! What were you thinking?! You know how much work I went through to put that thing up?!” You know, typical Dad stuff.

But honestly, Alexis is a very good “person”. I have to say “person” because I have always called her a pretty good “kid”. Since she has graduated high school and has moved on to college I am trying to refrain from the “kid” tag.

So, as I was saying, Alexis is a good kid. Crap! I did it again! Anyway, she was heading out to school and an unfortunate accident happened and here I stand, holding the keys to the rest of her day in my mouth. I could choose to send my daughter out into the cold cruel world crushed and feeling horrible about herself or I could let her know that accidents happen and that I love her and she should have a good day.

Actually, I have mad respect for the way she handled the situation. When I was seventeen I have no doubt that if I had demolished a mailbox I would have looked around and if no one saw me do it, I would have sped away! Ha! I am not advocating that behavior at all!

I said, “Go on to school and I will take care of this”. And I felt a lot better about myself as I spent the next two hours fixing the mailbox.

So I took these tools:

And two hours of my time

To make this mailbox:

Look like this again:

And all is fine in the world.

Goodbye Summer

Goodbye summer, hello cooler temps…

Summer has, once again, come to an end. Fall is in the air. All my life I have been a summer person. Even growing up in Arizona, I enjoyed the summer. No matter how hot it gets, summer is my favorite time of year. My favorite activities have always been ones that are done outdoors and usually in the warmth of summer.

It seems to me that winter is a time when physical activity slows down. There is a lot more sitting indoors. One Winter I was talking to a friend in Minnesota and I stated, “It must be really cold up there right now”. He said, “It’s about 72 degrees”. I said, “72 degrees?! How is that possible?!” He said, “Oh, you mean OUTSIDE? Nobody goes out there in the winter!” He was being funny but it seems to be true that a lot less time is spent outdoors this time of year.

Added to this time of less activity is Halloween, where we eat a lot of candy. Thanksgiving, which has become more about eating and less about giving thanks, and Christmas which also consists of a lot of eating, and we have a recipe for weight gain and poor health. It is important to enjoy life and enjoy this time of year but over eating and lack of physical exercise will lead to regret. 

Let’s all remember, this winter, the importance of physical activity. I have been pretty fortunate to have a house with a basement the last couple of years and have set up a home gym. Before that I had a membership to a local gym here in town. Nothing beats getting out and enjoying the outdoors when we can but it is good to have backup plan for cold weather.

Another drawback of winter is lack of vitamin D from the sun. There are less daylight hours in the winter and when we do go outside we usually cover every inch of skin with clothing. I think a 1000 mg Vitamin D supplement in winter is important as well as trying to get sun when we can.

To put a positive in there, it seems that people are a lot more social this time of year. We get together for holidays. We are out mingling with the crowds shopping for school items, holiday food items, Christmas presents, etc.

So eat right, exercise and enjoy interacting with the people in your life this winter. Life is still good no matter the temperature outside. I am looking forward to what this season has in store.

Series: The key to happiness, part four: Mental Health

The key to happiness Part 4

I have been fortunate enough to be a fairly happy individual. To steal a quote from Wyatt Earp in the movie Tombstone, “I don't laugh all day long like an idiot”, but I’m fairly happy.

I have always enjoyed educating myself through reading, doing, and talking to those who have done it. I have had many opportunities to speak with people in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s. My favorite question to ask someone of that age is “Looking back over your life, what would you say is the key to happiness?”. Time and time again I have heard the same thing from many people. Putting together what they have taught me and what I have experienced I have found that there are two keys with two pieces per key:

Health:

            Physical Health

            Mental Health

Wealth:

            Physical Wealth

            Mental Wealth

These are very important keys and each one has a lot of information to them. I will break it up into weekly segments. This week, Mental Wealth…

Mental Wealth, the most exciting key to happiness by far!

What I mean by mental wealth is building a life of fun, happiness and adventure. When I get around people that are in their sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond I just like to listen. Listen to stories they tell about their life and their experiences. We need to work on those stories now so that when we get to that age people will listen in awe. Mental wealth means the difference between being happy or just being a grumpy old person.

I have enjoyed many different things in my life. Being a husband, a father, a firefighter, a biker, a preacher, a businessman, a traveler, etc… I have enjoyed hobbies such as running, weight lifting, kayaking, fishing, hunting, archery, bowling, salsa dancing, etc… And there is so much more to do in life.

Now a person does not need to do everything in life to keep from being miserable but we do need to do things outside our comfort zone. I was at a leadership conference one time and they had an exercise of thinking outside the box. We were told to think of something that may be fun but something you would not be comfortable doing. I knew my wife likes to dance but I absolutely abhor dancing. To me, dancing does not make sense. I just wasn’t cut out for it. I like to listen to music but I don’t get into flailing my body about and jerking around in weird motions and movements. I don’t understand it and I don’t enjoy it. But dancing is what I thought of in this exercise. After this we were told to make a commitment to ourselves to do that thing that we thought of. My thought was “CRAP! Really? What have I gotten myself into?!” I did follow up with it and my wife and I signed up for salsa dance lesson. We laughed, we cried (well, she cried when I stepped all over her toes), we had an amazing time together learning to salsa. It is a fond memory I will have forever and a good story to tell for the rest of my life.

Really, doing things outside our comfort zone is what helps us grow our mental wealth. It is so scary and fun at the same time. I totally buy into the bucket list idea and feel that everyone should have one and actively work on checking items off the list. Sit down and make your bucket list today. Put some crazy, random things on it. Learn to salsa dance! It’s fun!

The point is just to enjoy life. Stay out of the ruts. I am the first person to enjoy being stuck in a comfortable rut in life but I have to always remind myself to do something outside the box to keep happy and healthy.

It is always good to have a partner to challenge us to do things like this and my wife is my partner. We like to tease that she is the grounded one in the relationship and I keep things interesting but really she pushes me to do some pretty interesting stuff sometimes.

Our community Pride group is holding a play and asking for male volunteers for a couple parts. That is really out of my comfort zone and I wanted to do it but it lands on the same weekend I will be out of town with my daughter. My daughter is going to be in the Miss Teen Kansas pageant. This is something fun, exciting and out of the comfort zone for her. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Think of something fun… something that is out of your comfort zone… now, make it happen! You will have an excellent story to tell. I love to hear those stories. Feel free to comment with a story you have experience in your life. Let’s keep each other mentally wealthy!

Series: The key to happiness, part three: Physical Wealth

The key to happiness Part 3

I have been fortunate enough to be a fairly happy individual. To steal a quote from Wyatt Earp in the movie Tombstone, “I don't laugh all day long like an idiot”, but I’m fairly happy.

I have always enjoyed educating myself through reading, doing, and talking to those who have done it. I have had many opportunities to speak with people in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s. My favorite question to ask someone of that age is “Looking back over your life, what would you say is the key to happiness?”. Time and time again I have heard the same thing from many people. Putting together what they have taught me and what I have experienced I have found that there are two keys with two pieces per key:

Health:

            Physical Health

            Mental Health

Wealth:

            Physical Wealth

            Mental Wealth

These are very important keys and each one has a lot of information to them. I will break it up into weekly segments. This week, Physical Wealth…

Yes, I know, money does not buy you happiness. This statement is true but cash is an important factor in a person’s life. Money alone will not make someone happy. If you are hoping solely on your personal wealth to give you a long happy life you will not find it. Money is but one key and, really, not the most important key. After a person has addressed physical health and mental health, physical wealth is the logical, and important, next step.

You can live a long life without money but if you do not prepare financially for those long years ahead they can be miserable. A person does not need to be rich to retire happy. It all depends on the individual. If you are someone that likes to shop and travel and eat at restaurants all the time then you better save a lot of money for retirement. If you have no problem living a more restrained life you will still need SOME money in retirement.

As we talked about previously, you will need to be physically active. You will also need to be mentally active. So really, a person will need to keep busy in retirement with hobbies that feed the need for both physical and mental activity. These hobbies will most likely not be free. Even if you own your own home and like to garden your own land. There will be costs for plants, water, equipment such as shovels, rakes, etc. The point is, not much in life is free and the way it is going people will find a way to charge money for everything.

I have known people that saved no money for their retirement. These people were not very happy. Some were even pretty miserable. Without having money available it is difficult to travel to see your children, grandchildren or other relatives that do not live close. It is easy to become a prisoner in your own home. I find it very sad and frightening for a person to be trapped like this after living a long and fruitful life.

I have also known people that saved well for their retirement. Going back to my friend that is in his 80’s, he has prepared well for his retirement. He is able to do what makes him happy now. He spends quality time with his children and grandchildren. He has hobbies such as gardening, canning and many other things that keep him busy. His wife and him have lived in Kansas and traveled to Arizona for the winter for many years. They started out driving an RV to Arizona every year. Eventually he downsized to a camper to make it easier. After his wife passed away he sold the camper and just bought a house in Arizona. Now he can easily travel by car to his winter home at the first sign of cold weather. That makes him happy.

Now saving money is not easy for everyone. It took me a long time to learn the importance of saving. When I was young I spent it as fast as I could make it. Fortunately I eventually figured it out. I am saving like mad now and believe I am on the right course. I have learned a lot from Dave Ramsey. I recommend everyone do some research on him. He is a smart, no nonsense, financial guru and author. He has many books that can help a person understand the why and how of saving money.

Most people that work have access to a 401K. This is a savings plan that employers offer to their employees. Usually your employer will match a certain amount of what you put in each paycheck. This is like getting free money. If my employer matches 100% up to 3% and 50% up to 5% of my 401K contributions here is how it works: For nice round numbers lets say 5% of my pay is $100.00. I put in 5% of my pay ($100.00) into a special tax deferred savings account and my employer puts in 4% or $80.00. Once you become fully vested, after a course of full time employment for a few years, this $80.00 becomes part of your nest egg. So if you put in $100.00 every two weeks and your employer matches you $80.00 every two weeks in 10 years you have put in $26,000.00 and your employer has put in $20,800.00. Your nest egg has grown big time! Not only do you get a free $20,800.00 but it doesn’t end there. A 401K is invested in a stock, bond or mutual fund of your choosing. The average rate of growth in recent years for these investments is 10%. Then you get into compounding interest and other things and after ten years your $26,000.00 investment has more than tripled to $75,734.63!

Another tax free way to save money for retirement is an IRA or Roth IRA. This is an account that you put money in and are able to access after retirement. It does not get matching funds from anyone but it still grows (or drops) at an annual rate. This is a very good option for a self employed person or someone wanting to save additional funds besides a 401K.

The point is there are means of growing your nest egg. It is important to save money but it is also important to grow your money. If I hide $100 every two weeks for ten years in my mattress I will end up with $26,000.00. If I put $100.00 every two weeks for ten years into an investment that earns a 10% growth I have $42,074.79. With the rate of inflation at 4% I did pretty well. Today’s dollar will not be worth the same in ten years as it is now. Milk cost about $2.50 a gallon in 2004 but today in 2014 it costs about $3.16.If you don’t grow your money at a rate higher than inflation you are losing money every year it sits in your mattress.

The younger you start the better off you will be. We have established that if I invest $100.00 every two weeks for ten years at 10% growth I will have $75,734.63. Not bad but if I start this when I am 25 and continue until I am 65 I would have $1,168,444.19! Yes that is over one million dollars! In reality I only invested $96,000.00 but compounding interest made me a millionaire!

These numbers may seem really big to some people but the point is to put money away in an investment every paycheck and prepare for those awesome years that you get to spend not working every day.

If you are looking for more information on investments and how ANYONE can save money for retirement I think this is a great place to start: http://www.daveramsey.com/home/

Series: The key to happiness, part two: Mental Health

The key to happiness Part 2

I have been fortunate enough to be a fairly happy individual. To steal a quote from Wyatt Earp in the movie Tombstone, “I don't laugh all day long like an idiot”, but I’m fairly happy.

I have always enjoyed educating myself through reading, doing, and talking to those who have done it. I have had many opportunities to speak with people in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s. My favorite question to ask someone of that age is “Looking back over your life, what would you say is the key to happiness?”. Time and time again I have heard the same thing from many people. Putting together what they have taught me and what I have experienced I have found that there are two keys with two pieces per key:

Health:

            Physical Health

            Mental Health

Wealth:

            Physical Wealth

            Mental Wealth

These are very important keys and each one has a lot of information to them. I will break it up into weekly segments. This week, Mental Health…

I have a friend who is in his 80’s. One of his favorite saying is “These are the good old days”. When people of similar age get together with us and start talking about “the good old days” he will pipe up and say “These are the good old days”! His point is valid. We live in a time of more opportunities than ever before. His favorite is to point out that he does not have to go out into the cold to use an outhouse in the middle of the night. Right on my friend! I never had to use an outhouse and I am very happy about that!

A very important key to happiness is to keep yourself sharp mentally. Constant learning and growing with the times is part of living. Technology is such an enjoyable part of life. These really are the good old days right now. I encourage everyone to learn to use a computer and learn to use the internet. The internet is such a powerful tool. You can learn anything about anything! That may be a strange statement but it leaves limits out of it. The internet is limitless. And now, it is better than ever! I have complete access to a world of information from a small little handheld device that I carry everywhere with me. Amazing!

The fun thing about reading on the internet is that I can start reading about the statue of liberty, catch a link from there to Ellis Island, from there to reading about the smallest national park in the U.S. (Which is the Thaddeus Kosciuszko National Memorial). I can continue through and eventually get to “the science fiction of Edgar Allen Poe”. The point is: it is limitless!

And for those that are not big readers… YOUTUBE! This “YouTube” you speak of is… AMAZING! Videos of everything! I learned how to install a French drain in my backyard from YouTube. I learned how to make compost tea from YouTube. If you have a project looming over you and are unsure of where to start, check it out on YouTube. In these good old days of the present, we can learn to do anything we want. Pick something that sounds interesting to you and go to YouTube and learn how to do it. Have fun.

We need to constantly use our brain in order to keep it functioning well and to truly be happy well into old age. I really enjoy sitting with a person that has experienced life and just listening to them tell stories about their experiences. Right now, in these good old days, WE are building OUR stories. One day, younger people will be sitting and listening to our stories. Make the best stories you can now and amaze those youngsters when you share it with them. It starts now while we are young and should never stop.

A famous quote from the genius, Albert Einstein, says “Once you stop learning, you start dying”. 

Remember the first key to happiness is physical health and that is very important. These two keys work together. Learning new hobbies are physically and mentally rewarding. I have learned to bake, how to can fruit, how to install a kitchen backsplash, replacing a toilet, gardening, how to attract hummingbirds, etc, etc…

Don’t get stuck in a rut. Learn and grow daily for true happiness.